We have our fav relationship + transition therapist on today, Mariah Rist with Soul Shine SLC, talking about how to create a stronger healthier relationship. Love this post because it applies to those that are just beginning a relationship, those that maybe just got engaged and are preparing to get married, newlyweds, and those that have a few years of marriage under their belt!
When you’re first dating communication may feel effortless. In a new relationship it is common to adore quirky flaws and idiosyncrasies in your partner. However, as time goes on, these quirks can start to lose their charm leading to frequent fighting and frustrations. After years of working with individuals and couples I’ve come to notice a pattern: The root cause of conflict is found in miscommunication and inability to express our feelings and needs. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, however, cultivating healthy communication patterns can change the way your relationship develops over time.
Here are 5 communication techniques to make your relationship stronger:
- Active listen: When your partner is talking, LISTEN. Reflect back what you hear and ask questions that show interest.
2. Use “I” statements: When communicating with your partner use I statements to convey your viewpoints. You might state, “I am feeling frustrated because…” This can prevent your partner from getting in defense mode.
3. State what you need, instead of assuming that they know: Our partners cant mind read, they might not have any clue what we actually need in a given situation. When you state your needs your partner then has a clear understanding of what you are hoping to accomplish. You might say, “I need you to be more involved with the party planning because I feel like I am doing it on my own”.
4. Ask open-ended questions: By asking open-ended questions you convey interest in your partner. My favorite open-ended prompt is “tell me more about…” This allows your partner to share further details about their experience.
5. Express Validation: As human beings we need to be validated, to know that someone understands our emotions and why we feel the way we do about something. Expressing validation shows your partner that you can understand why they feel how they feel.
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, it is a healthy part of every partnership. By cultivating good communication techniques early on you pave the way to a successful and meaningful relationship. If you are interested in learning more contact me below for more tips and tricks.
Mariah
www.soulshineslc.com
@soulshineslc
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